Kissing Princesses

In the summer of 1977 my Mother and her friend took me to see Star Wars for the first time – I remember clearly, the thoughts I had about Star Wars from the commercials on TV.
You see, in 1977 I was 5 years old and looking back, I had no idea what it was I had actually seen in those Star Wars commercials. To understand my 5 year old train of thought, you need to know that I was raised catholic and went catholic school. While in catholic school I went to mass every day. Mass was held in a cathedral church. The church was a massive stone structure with vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows, detailed wood work, marble statues and Christ on the Cross.
In the Star Wars commercial, some guy grabs a girl, gives her a kiss and swings across one thing to another. 5 year old brain said – that was a stained glass window and they are in a church swinging around in the vaulted ceiling.
You might be thinking, 5, to see Star Wars? I was way more mature than most 5 year old children. My mother told me once that I was such a strange little boy, that I would get upset when she tried to get me to watch Sesame Street. Instead I wanted to watch Time Tunnel, Star Trek and Space 1999. I had the Space 1999 toys, I was freaking 3 watching new episodes on TV. Recently watched the first show on Amazon – you should check it out, it is pretty bad. But I remember vividly the episode and how great Martin Landau and Barbra Bain were, spitting out odd technobabble.
So anyway, Star Wars 1977 in the theater, wide eyed and amazed – This was not a cathedral church, it was the Death Star and Star Wars became my new religion. Parents and family members, every year for Christmas, got me Star Wars toys… action figures, ships, play sets, statues, under roos, bed sheets and blankets, curtains, posters, records and comic books. If it had Star Wars on it, I likely had it. In 1981 someone even gave me a bootleg copy of star wars and empire on VHS, I wonder if my father still has that stashed somewhere in the house.
Luke Skywalker became my hero, he had run away from home and defeated the bad guy by blowing up his cathed… er, Death Star. Thinking about it as I write, the Empire was my analog for the catholic church. Priests wear black, Nuns wear black and they wear habits, that now remind me of Darth Vader. Man, I despised going to church. every. damn. day. I needed to go on adventures to save the galaxy, I do not have time to sit here listening to these stories. While in church, I always imagined climbing up in to vaulted ceilings jumping and swinging rafter to rafter like Luke trying to escape the Death Star.
Luke was my hero until 1980, the year Empire was released. After seeing Empire, I instantly became a fan of Han; death marks, bounty hunters and Jabba the Hutt – who the heck is this guy? Jabba sent Greedo to collect but Greedo died in the first movie. Now Han was a commander in the Rebel Alliance, he got the princess, he can walk outside of his ship into a giant space worm – he had a modified ship that could make point 5 past light speed. Han would risk his life to save his friend in a blizzard. Also note, I LOVE LOVE LOVE snow storms, I love walking in them and driving in them. Snow storms remind me of Hoth and that time my new favorite hero let his taun taun freeze before he reached the first marker, all to save his friend. Later in 1982 after knocking off Jabba and saving a bunch of space bears, Han got the girl. Story complete happy ever after, the catholic church was defeated we can all go kissing princesses and make the jump to hyper space.


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